Today I found out via Facebook that I've lost a very old friend to cystic fibrosis. I say old, sadly that is not literally the case, he was younger than me. I have known him most of my life as I went to primary and secondary school with Alan and we hung out in my village and were good friends, we lost contact really when I left the village as people often do but then communicated again through the means of Facebook when technology had reached that point. He had moved to Leeds.
He had always been ill as long as I have known him but he always conquered and rose above it, he was such a fighter. I wish I'd stayed in touch with him more.
I feel sad (understatement) and haven't really stopped crying all morning since I read his Wife's sad post on his page, I found it very difficult to do the show this morning and thought it fitting to add a dedication in it for him. The tears seem to have stopped now but then I haven't spoken about it for a while or heard a sad song for a bit.
I just feel like I have been so selfish, why was I raising money for huge causes that have plenty of sponsors when I could've been doing something to help my childhood friend?? He needed a double lung transplant and was denied treatment in the UK so money was being raised to help him do this abroad. The money was raised but sadly he was too ill to go ahead with it and then he lost his battle. He breathes easy now having earned his wings somewhere freer than here. I feel I have wasted my time and life and ignored those close to me and because of this a life was lost.
Today I feel like an awful person, what a tragic way to learn such a valuable lesson. Anyone reading this head my warnings. Help your friends, love those around you and never think that too little is not enough.
Alan will be missed every day and I am one of many who is truly sorry to see such a bright star burn out so fast.
Rest in peace Alan, you will never be forgotten.xx
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